Loiacano

The implications of this dilemma for Black-American lesbians are similar.

Johnson (1981) and Icard (1986) have underscored the importance of the Black community as a primary reference group and source of support to its members. The support that Black gay men and lesbian women receive, however, is compromised by pervasive homophobic practices and beliefs. Icard believes that many Blacks view homosexuality as a White phenomenon largely irrelevant to the interests of the Black community. It should be noted that little empirical data actually exist on the views of Black Americans on homosexuality (Johnson, 1981). Nonetheless, choices about coming out to others, becoming involved in primary relationships, and becoming politically active in the sexual minority community may be complicated by status as a Black American. Because these tasks are all related to gay identity development, it follows that this process may be different for Black Americans and other people of color than it is for White Americans. This article presents a qualitative exploration of gay identity development issues among Black Americans through open-ended interviews with three lesbian women and three gay men who are Black Americans.

Participants

PROCEDURE

Because there are apparent gender differences in gay identity development (see previous discussion), both men and women were selected for this study. Three male and three female participants were located through personal contacts and through a local women's organization in a large metropolitan area. Participants were told that the study was about the "coming-out" experiences of Black-American gay men and lesbian women. They ranged in age from 25 to 51 years, but most were between 30 and 40 years old. All except one had at least a bachelor's degree, and several had received graduate level education. All participants had a high level of awareness about social issues, and most were very articulate in describing their personal experiences and perceptions of society. All except one had acquired what the author considers a positive gay identity, although a few individuals were still integrating this identity into their overall self-concepts.

Interviewing Process

Based on the literature on gay identity development (e.g., Cass, 1979; Coleman, 1982; Troiden, 1979), the following open-ended questions were generated to guide each interview:

1. When were you first aware of your same-sex feelings, or the sense that your sexual identity might be different from heterosexuals? Say anything you'd like about this.

2. What was your experience of "coming out" to yourself? What made it difficult? What helped make it easier?

3. What has been your experience of "coming out" to others? Who has been supportive? Say anything else you would like about this experience.

4. What would you say were/are the major barriers to you accepting yourself as a gay man or lesbian?

5. How would you describe your relationship to the gay/lesbian community as you define this community? To the Black community as you define it? For example, how supported do you feel by these two communities as a whole?

5a. Did your "coming out" experience and identity as a gay man/lesbian woman change your sense of acceptance in the

Black community? Your level of involvement in the Black community?

6. Is there any aspect of your identity that you consider central at present? If someone were to ask you who you are, and you were comfortable enough to be open with them, what would you say?

It is important to note that the author (and interviewer) in this study is a White American, because this may be an important factor in understanding and interpreting the interview data. It was reasoned that an open-ended method of interviewing would allow participants to stress what has been important to them regarding gay identity issues. At the same time, the questions would help gain basic demographic information and provide some minimal degree of standardization. The goal of the interviews, however, was to gain a sense of the participant's overall gay identity "story" rather than bits and pieces of standardized information.

Interviews were usually held in the participant's home or office. They lasted from 1 to 2 hours, depending on how much time it took individuals to respond to the questions. At least a day before the interview, participants received a form containing the above questions as well as a few demographic questions regarding age, occupation, religion, and educational status. Participants were asked to fill out the form before the interview took place. One individual could not fill it out ahead of time because of a developmental disability. All but one participant agreed to have his or her interview tape-recorded. Detailed notes were taken during the untaped interview. During interviews, participants responded to the questionnaire, both referring to the answers they had written down and expanding upon these answers. The researcher also asked specific questions about participants' family and romantic relationships as well as the chronological order of events they described. Later, interview tapes were transcribed and combined with the written information on the questionnaire to give a resulting profile of each participant's experience of gay identity development.

INTERVIEW THEMES

Several issues were examined on the basis of the interview data (Loiacano, 1988). This article specifically focuses on gay identity issues related to the interviewees' dual identity as Black American and gay or lesbian. The identification of themes in such a qualitative interview is a subjective process. From the author's perspective, however, it seemed clear that three themes related to dual identity emerged. The interview data in these three thematic areas are summarized below.

Theme One: Finding Validation in the Gay and Lesbian Community. Diane, who is 31 years old, stated that, as she began to come out, she found it difficult to fit into any particular lesbian group. She remarked that the women's community is somewhat closed to people of color and that such women are often an afterthought in planning political and social events: "Some of us [women of color] end up dropping out of planning groups or raising hell. We might want to work on the racism that's going on there, but racial issues are tough, and people don't really want to talk about them." Even when Black lesbians and other women of color were thought about, Diane felt the focus was on "reaching out" to them rather than having women of color involved in leadership roles in women's groups.

JOURNAL OF COUNSELING & DEVELOPMENT SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1989 VOL. 68

Paul, who is 35, spoke angrily of the racism he had experienced in the gay community:

I would go into a bar... behind young Whites who looked a hell-of-a-lot younger than me, and they would have no problem getting in. Whereas, I would be stopped and they would ask for at least two forms of I.D. Also, just the attitudes of the bartenders. They would wait on others before they would wait on me... and it really saddened me because I thought because we all were gay, we all were fighting for equality. You know, we would pull together. But I found more overt racism among White gays than I did among just Whites period... which really upset me.

Paul was involved in bringing a lawsuit against a gay bar for discriminating against Black patrons.

Tom, who is 51 years old, became involved in the gay liberation movement during its beginnings in 1969. Like Paul, he expressed dismay at the racism in the gay community. He talked about watching the local gay movement gradually be taken over by White men during the early 1970s, even though it had started out as a diverse movement with members of many racial groups working together. Tom believes that he was carded more than White gay men were at bars and was assumed to be less financially successful than were White gay men. He began assuming that his presence at social occasions was less sought after than that of White gay men.

Larry, who is 34 years old, spoke of the stereotypes that exist in the predominantly White gay male community. He stated that there was pressure to fit one of these stereotypes, which are generally based on White male standards. He believes that being a Black American, however, made it difficult for him to conform to any particular "type." He also believes that this complicated his social and sexual exploration of the gay community. He recalls being rejected by men at dances, for example, and believes that this was partly because of his race.

Theme Two: Finding Validation in the Black Community. Many of the individuals interviewed discussed feeling a lack of support from the predominantly heterosexual Black community for their gay or lesbian identity. Diane talked about her hesitation to discuss her lesbian feelings while in college. The college she attended was predominantly White, and Diane relied a great deal on the Black community there for support. She considered that coming out to these individuals might jeopardize her acceptance in this group. Although Diane continued to explore her lesbian feelings internally, she also continued to date men. Several years later as she did begin to come out to others, she feared that identification as a lesbian might pull her away from what she considered her primary reference group-Black Americans.

Another individual who was interviewed, Shirl, talked about the pressure she felt to avoid being "too out" because of the ramifications it could have for her family living in a Black community. Shirl was politically active in the gay and lesbian community at the time of her interview. She expressed anxiety about particular activities such as being on a television program as an openly lesbian women or being quoted in a mainstream newspaper.

Larry discussed an overall lack of support for his gay identity in the Black community in which he was raised. He spoke repeatedly of the pressure on Black men in his community to be secretive about their homosexuality. He said that the social message given to these gay men was that marriage and family always came first. Homosexual encounters were best relegated

Gay Identity Issues Among Black Americans

to bars and other secretive arenas, invisible to the larger community. Larry believes that there were virtually no role models for Black-American gay couples in his community and little support for long-term relationships.

Mary, who is 37 years old, talked about how "coming out" as a lesbian gave her new insight into the Black community. Particularly, it showed her how the community perpetuates oppression within itself, such as that against gay men and lesbians:

I see more clearly the ways that we perpetuate horizontal violence. I see more clearly that... those things that we say about White folk can also be true of ourselves. And we indeed can be our greatest oppressor, which is certainly not any effort on my part to blame the victim, but just a recognition that we have probably taken too many of the attributes of the true oppressor and focused our energies . . . within, rather than clearly identifying who the oppressor is and then strategizing cohesively to address the real problem [racism].

Theme Three: The Need to Integrate Identities. A third theme that came across in the interviews was an expressed need to integrate and find simultaneous validation for one's various identities. For the individuals interviewed these included being Black American and gay or lesbian, in addition to other identities for certain individuals. One of the major ways in which those who were interviewed seemed to gain this integration was by becoming involved in, or forming, organizations specifically for Black-American gay men, lesbian women, or both. Diane became involved in forming a local support group for Black lesbians, thinking that "they must be out there somewhere." This group helped give her a sense of belonging when this was difficult to achieve elsewhere. Paul became involved in "Black and White Men Together," an organization formed to increase dialogue between Black and White gay men. He has also been involved in "Gay AA" to address issues of alcoholism while also being supported as a gay man. Mary became involved in forming a national organization for Black-American lesbians and gay men. She later became involved in a diverse religious organization from which she felt support both as a lesbian and as a Black American. Mary feels that, while her two identities were once "running on parallel tracks," they are now "more like a weaving."

During his interview Larry talked very emotionally about his struggle for acceptance, both as a Black American in the gay community and as a gay man in the Black community. He expressed this struggle for validation of both of his identities as a challenge to his sanity and a cause for the close scrutiny of others:

And that is a real fear that I have... I fear losing sanity, and so maybe that is the reason why I scrutinize people with such care. Because I do depend upon others' perceptions of me for validation, and I have been hurt so much by that in the past ... Because, I mean, living in an environment... where there's been so many things that have told me I was freaky, I was crazy, I was stupid... And how much I had to fight against that, and struggle... I had just kind of forgotten how much I fought to remain sane. I lived in a world which wanted to tell me that I wasn't. And that was a real battle.

SUMMARY AND IMPLICATIONS FOR COUNSELORS

Data from such a small sample must be perceived as exploratory and of limited generalizability. It was clear, however, that the

JOURNAL OF COUNSELING & DEVELOPMENT SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 1989 VOL. 68